


To Be With You

by lovbeom



Category: GOT7
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Idols, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Strong Language, kpop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-07-12 12:56:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15995672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovbeom/pseuds/lovbeom
Summary: “Stay for a little.” Just for a little more is what Youngjae said, but he actually wanted Jaebum to stay for as long as he wanted. He did love him, but Youngjae didn’t have the heart to tell Jaebum this. He didn’t want to risk not being able to see him anymore, so if sleeping together was the only way for them to be together, then Youngjae didn’t mind it—at least that’s what he tells himself, but it hurt like hell.





	To Be With You

“Give me more.” Youngjae breathed heavily. His fingers dug deep into Jaebum as he tried to get what he wanted. He was frustrated and seemingly deprived of touch. It was as if Jaebum had done this to him on purpose.

“Eager.” Jaebum surprisingly managed to say after their lips parted from each other for a split second. They haven’t slept together in weeks, but he didn’t think Youngjae would turn out like this. Jaebum honestly thought Youngjae could hold himself up, but seeing what’s happening now clearly contradicted this thought.

His back was painted with red lines coming from all directions. It’s been awhile since this happened, but Jaebum was able to ignore the burdening sensation of their stings because his thoughts were only on Youngae right now.

“Fuck.” They both cursed out at different times, but they were all for the same reason.

Despite doing this countless times before, Youngjae had a habit of covering his face with his arms. He was always comfortable with Jaebum, but he just couldn’t shake off the feeling of embarrassment when they were together like this.

“I want to see you.” Jaebum hated having to pull away those fragile arms to see Youngjae flushed with heat because he has to stop himself from moving. Just when he does, Youngjae would tighten around him.

Until they both reached their limit, they stopped. Jaebum got himself up out of bed first, but it was always like this. They didn’t have any kind of special relationship. It was more a mutual agreement on sleeping with each other, but now it looks as if it’s one-sided.

Youngjae reached his hand over to Jaebum quickly without thinking. It confused the two of them, but more so for Jaebum.

“Stay for a little.” Just for a little more is what Youngjae said, but he actually wanted Jaebum to stay for as long as he wanted. He did love him, but Youngjae didn’t have the heart to tell Jaebum this. He didn’t want to risk not being able to see him anymore, so if sleeping together was the only way for them to be together, then Youngjae didn’t mind it—at least that’s what he tells himself, but it hurt like hell.

“Okay.”

They haven’t seen each other for the rest of the week since. Youngjae was thinking for a moment about how badly he wanted to see Jaebum as he kicked the pavement he was walking on.

“Maybe you should stop seeing him.” Jackson stopped walking after noticing he was ahead of Youngjae and waited.

“I can’t do that, Jackson.”

“Yeah, but you also can’t tell him that you have feelings for him.” It pained Youngjae after hearing that. “I mean it’s not that you can’t, you just don’t want to.”

“Won’t I regret it if I do?” Youngjae caught up to him. “He might not want to see me again.”

“What are you gonna do when he tells you he wants to stop sleeping with you now?” Jackson was very blunt about this. “Won’t you regret not telling him that you do?”

Youngjae stayed silent because he didn’t know how to respond to that truth.

“Please understand where I’m coming from, Youngjae.”

“I know, I know.” Youngjae gave Jackson a smile, but it almost looked too forced. “Thank you for looking out for me.”

“I don’t like seeing you go through this.”

For the rest of the day, Youngjae thought of Jaebum nonstop. It wasn’t about how much he wanted to see him now, but it was on what he should do. Youngjae took what Jackson said into consideration and although he didn’t want to stop having this kind of relationship with Jaebum, he knew it was the right thing to do.

He received a text two days later and upon checking it, Youngjae was undoubtedly excited to see that it was from Jaebum.

“Are you free today?” The text read.

But in a matter of seconds, Youngjae looked as if he wasn’t happy. He paused, staring at the text for what seemed like eternity. He typed and typed, but he also kept deleting what he had written.

“No, I’m not.” He finally sent.

The nerves were getting to Jaebum the longer he had to wait. When he got a response back from Youngae, he immediately checked it. He was afraid something like this would happen and to think that he actually did, Jaebum lost all his hope.

“Any other day this week then?” Jaebum was hoping there would be any other chances for him.

“Sorry, Jaebum.” It ended there without reason.

When Jaebum stayed back that night to keep Youngjae company, his heart throbbed as he held him in his arms. Youngjae was never one to wake up so easily. Jaebum knew that much of the younger and so when he woke up early the next morning, he left a faint kiss on his forehead before he left.

In that week, Jaebum had probably called Jinyoung up four times to meet. Jinyoung knew that Jaebum was the most vulnerable those days after he sleeps with Youngjae, so it was most likely that Jaebum was going to run his mouth about his feelings.

Jaebum opened the front door, already expecting Jinyoung to be at his place this evening. They walked over to the center of the living room and kind of lounged around. It was calming this way since it was just two friends updating each other on what’s been happening.

“Why don’t you ask him out for lunch?” Jinyoung suggested.

“No, I don’t think he’d want that.” Jaebum was tracing the embroideries on a pillow with his fingers.

“Why not?” Jinyoung asked. “I thought you wanted to get past this whole one-night stand relationship, so taking him out can let you guys get to know each other more.”

“I do want that, but he probably thinks differently.” Jaebum assumed. “He’s going to know what’s up and ask me why I’m suddenly taking him out. What will I do then? I don’t want to lie and hide the fact that I like him.”

“You’re jumping to conclusions now.” Jinyoung scoffed, but he made sure to let Jaebum know that it shouldn’t be taken seriously. “Nothing is going to happen if neither of you are going to take initiative.”

Just like Jackson, he was right. So they sat around for a bit longer, and Jinyoung ended up eating some leftovers from the fridge until he left.

“See you soon.” Jaebum waved off to his friend. He went back to his couch and pulled out his phone. His thumb was just hovering over slightly above the messaging app he had. There wasn’t any timer, but he spent almost half an hour debating whether or not to text Youngae.

This happened frequently during the evenings of his week. On the day Youngjae misunderstood and rejected Jaebum, saying he had no free time, Jaebum had mustered up all his courage to finally ask him if he would like to talk over lunch.

So perhaps it wasn’t one-sided after all.

They haven’t spoke to each other for a month now, but that didn’t mean they both moved on. Jaebum had been missing Youngjae dearly and for the sake of filling up the void he had carried, Youngjae was drinking every now and then. He always had Jackson with him though to look after him, but Youngjae decided to go drinking by himself one night with no luck of red.

By the time he finished his tenth shot, Youngjae was overcome with dizziness. The place he was at suddenly became too unbearable to be at because of its overheated air. He sat fine in his chair, but he would obviously lose balance if he stood up right now. He had his head resting flat on its side of the table and sluggishly fished out his phone out of his pocket.

“Please come get me.” Youngjae didn’t even have the phone over his ear, so whoever was talking on the other side, he didn’t hear any of it. “Please, please come get me.”

“Okay, but where are you?” Jaebum pulled away his hand and stared confusingly at the name of the caller. There was no way he could guess where Youngjae was, and he surely can’t call up one of his friends because they weren’t close like that.

He had to think. Of all the times that Jaebum had been over to his place, there was never a sight of alcohol, so Youngjae must be at either a tent bar or hanging out with his friends.

“I didn’t hear anyone else with him though.” Jaebum recalled when he only heard Youngjae speaking to him over the phone. The safest bet was to just walk mindlessly around his neighborhood until a miracle happened, and that’s what he did.

It took longer to get there considering the traffic because it was a weekend, plus in addition to it being evening already. Seeing the house again made Jaebum miss Youngjae even more than he did, but he quickly avoided being too much into his feelings because he had to look for Youngjae.

Jaebum took note that he saw some street vendors as he was driving up here and started walking away from the house. It looked like there was a night festival going on, and there definitely was a lot of tents being propped up on every inch of the sidewalk.

“This is going to take awhile.”

As he went to visit every tent that sold an ounce of alcohol, Jaebum tried calling Youngjae in hopes he would pick up. He hasn’t been, and Jaebum was clearly getting annoyed because he was worried sick. He didn’t know what could happen to Youngjae knowing that he is out drunk.

“Where are you?” Jaebum dialed one last time. It rung maybe three or four times until the line connected. “Youngjae? Youngjae, where are you right now?”

“Here.” He slurred his response.

“Where is here?” Jaebum was trying to be patient, but he would really like to take Youngjae home now.

“The door—” Youngjae paused for a long minute. “The door is locked.”

Jaebum looked back from the direction he came from. “You’re kidding.”

Youngjae was sitting by the front of his door, his back slouched for comfort. He heard someone running towards him, and he looked up. He couldn’t really tell who it was because his vision was blacking out.

That night was a blur.

He woke up with an excruciating headache. Youngjae found himself in his own bed, but he couldn’t remember what had happened. When he was about to get out of bed, Jaebum walked in.

“Jaebum.” Youngjae couldn’t process what was happening right now, but he immediately jumped to ask, “Did we—”

“I slept on the couch.”

It got silent. It was even more unsettling for Youngjae because Jaebum seemed unfazed. He had his hands in his pocket, but he also didn’t dare to look at Youngjae.

“What time is it?” Youngjae asked though his throat was still burning mad from the alcohol.

“Two in the afternoon.”

Youngjae perked up from where he was. “You stayed since last night?”

“Yeah, I did.” Jaebum turned his body to face Youngjae. “You wanted me to stay.”

“I did?” Youngjae tried laughing it off, but the sound of his sarcasm soon faded back into quietness. “I’m sorry for causing—”

“But I wanted to stay too.” Jaebum suddenly confessed. It was then when both of their feelings manifested, and their relationship slowly became something more.

They didn’t touch on the topic again until later that night. Youngjae couldn’t bear with the hangover he had that afternoon, but he had Jaebum by his side to take care of him.

“Do you still smell the alcohol?” Youngjae got out of the shower a few minutes ago. Jaebum shook his head, but he did say there was still a faint scent of it.

Jaebum was sitting on the edge of the bed. He was kind of hunched over with his arms on his thighs. Youngjae folded his towel and put it into his laundry basket. He glanced over to see Jaebum in deep thought and spoke up to lighten the mood.

“If only we talked to each other sooner, huh?” Youngjae smiled, and it was like a domino effect because Jaebum also smiled back at him.

“We both feel the same way?” Jaebum asked for clarification.

“I hope so.” Youngae walked over to the bed and had Jaebum spread his legs farther so he could fit in between. He drew Jaebum in closer to his chest until his ear pressed against it. “My heart is beating fast.”

Jaebum pulled away, and he kept his stare on Youngjae. They were both taking in this moment with every single detail and suddenly, the rush of desire got to them both. Youngjae wrapped his arms around Jaebum. His fingers interlacing with those soft hair locks.

They kissed almost too passionately, and the only way Jaebum knew Youngjae wanted it rougher was when he pushed him back into the bed, his body grinding to get good pressure.

“Wait.” Jaebum tried to get Youngjae to stop, but he wouldn’t budge. He then smiled in between their exchange of kisses. “Someone’s impatient.”

“Hurry.” Youngjae sat up with one of his hands pressing Jaebum down on his chest. His other hand is pulling his own shirt up teasingly, and this was enough to make Jaebum snap.

He nipped at all the sensitive spots he knew would make Youngjae moan as he turned them over. Youngjae was being persistent, yearning to feel full again. He reached down below himself and tried to take off his pants, but Jaebum held him back.

“No.” Jaebum leaned forward until their lips were barely touching each other. “Let’s see how long you can go without begging.”

Such a cruel thing to do and sadly, Youngjae knew he wouldn’t be able to last long without asking for it. He wanted Jaebum so badly, but of course he became a fool once he was held with those hands.

“Holy fuck—” Jaebum tilted his head back. It was getting so tight and irritating. Youngjae really wanted to touch himself as he helped Jaebum, but it was impossible in this state.

“No more.” Youngjae heard the first time though, but he played back. “Youngjae, stop.” If he continued for a few minutes more, Jaebum surely would have let go sooner, but fortunately Youngjae heard him call out and stopped in time.

“Were you not begging just now?” Youngjae wiped the side of his mouth clean.

“Don’t get cocky now.”

Jaebum entered sooner than he wanted, but he was at the end of his wits. They were both losing it, and he gave Youngjae exactly what he wanted. He became so lewd, and this aroused Jaebum more. At one point their rhythm stopped matching, and Youngjae almost felt like he was gonna be too loud.

Youngjae was calling out to Jaebum, but they all sounded muffled. Youngjae covered his face and by instinct, Jaebum pulled those arms away. He stopped moving right away, and his eyes softened.

“Hey, hey.” Jaebum brought a hand up to Youngjae and cupped one of his cheeks. “Why are you crying?”

Youngjae took some time to gather his thoughts. “I’m just so happy.”

Seeing how fragile Youngjae was beneath him, Jaebum wouldn’t have asked for anything else in the world, but to be with him like they were in this moment. “I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> I haven’t shared any story like this one with you guys before. I suddenly got embarrassed while I was writing it because I didn’t know how well-written it would turn out, but I hope you like reading it anyway! You can also find it on my GOT7 [blog](http://lovbeom.tumblr.com/), so come visit when you can! ☺


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